If you think of any person you know well, several images will come to mind. You might remember that he or she is attractive or a good singer. He or she may eat a bit too much, like to dress in a colorful manner, enjoy old movies, and so on. These are some of the many features of your friend's identity. Each of us has a distinct personal identity. It is this identity that those around you are familiar with and recognize.
Three aspects of identity are usually highly regarded and sought after. These are stability, desirability, and control. A stable identity allows one to build enduring relationships with others. It helps one to set goals and work steadily towards them. We are surprised when someone we know well does something that appears out of character. We might say to ourselves It doesn't seem like Steven to do something like that. Most prefer themselves and the people they know well to stay pretty much the same.
Desirability is another valued aspect of personal identity. Depending on personal goals, one might exercise, have plastic surgery, take courses, or work hard to buy new possessions. Many people truly derive enjoyment or satisfaction from these aspirations. But often there is also motivation to enhance personal identity. We strive for a more desirable identity to show to the world.
If anything could be more important to us than a stable and desirable identity, it is the need to feel in control. We work to secure and maintain a safe house, a fit body, and financial stability. All this in part, aims to satisfy our desire for greater control over our life and future. A person who appears to be in control of their life generally earns the respect of their peers. Affluent societies have been highly successful in providing the opportunity for personal control. The opportunity for good health, a long life and worldly gain is infinitely greater than only one century ago. Organ transplant is a tremendous advance in our effort to gain control over ill health.
