Do I cause my own anxiety?
This is a difficult question to answer. There might be some things that you do or think that contributes to anxiety. It is also likely that there are things beyond your control that are causing tension. Everybody contributes in some way to his or her level of stress. It is not correct or helpful to blame yourself for how you feel.
Whatever causes anxiety in the first place, most people seem to have a natural tendency to make it worse. First, we try to ignore it and hope that it goes away. Then, we try to force it away. We say to ourselves, "This is silly. There is no reason for me to feel like this. I have to pull myself together." If this does not work (and why should it?), we interpret anxiety as a sign of personal failure and become demoralized.
We have said that stress and anxiety result from an interaction between the world and us. But we do not mean this to be a contest to see who is the strongest. This is not the value of this approach to stress. The value of this approach lies in its optimism. If you are a part of the process, then you can affect it. We do not suggest that you struggle with anxiety as if you were in a contest with it. It is better to work with anxiety, avoid letting it overwhelm you, tolerate it, wait it out, and laugh in its face. In this way, you decrease its grip on you. You do not let it get the better of you.