My father is in hospital recovering from a heart-lung transplant. We just found out that his brother died in Europe. If we tell him, will grief harm his recovery?
There may be some circumstances when it is best to withhold tragic news for a few hours or a day or two. But even for this short time, you risk that your father may learn the news from somebody else. Or he may later be angry that you did not tell him outright. Remember that a great fear for those who are seriously ill is that others will isolate them by treating them differently. You do not want to contribute to this fear by hiding something important from your father. He is likely to see the pain in your eyes anyway.
Throughout history, physicians have held the belief that troubled emotions can be harmful to health. In many times and countries, this belief has led to the practice that doctors did not even tell patients their own diagnosis. Doctors have feared that resultant low mood may impede recovery. Until modern times, they had little to offer a seriously ill and demoralized patient.
Today, there is scientific evidence for a close association between emotions and physical health. But the relationship is much more complicated than previously known. We now know that it is very difficult to predict how, if at all, one person's emotional state will affect their health. And we know much more about how to deal with grief and other painful emotions. With your support and the experience of the transplant team, it is likely respectful of your father that you allow him to face important events in his life as they occur.