The work involved in applying to a transplant program and completing their assessment will preoccupy the potential candidate. When concerns arise, they usually focus on whether the team will accept the applicant to their waiting list. What if I am not found suitable for transplant? What will happen to me then? What if they find something unexpected? Will they turn me down? Could I be more ill than anybody knew? Ideally, the results of the team's assessment will reassure these concerns.
Once enrolled on a waiting list, room exists for other concerns to arise. Those waiting for a vital organ transplant face vastly opposing outcomes. The opportunity for renewed health is close at hand. But the risk of further decline in health or death persists. For some candidates, periodic thoughts of these undesirable possibilities create distress. We have often heard comments such as; I try not to think about dying. I have to keep my hopes up for the transplant. Or I want to be optimistic. But negative thoughts still pop into my mind.
When death is even a remote possibility, it is difficult for many candidates to ignore it completely. Reality presses on their minds. Candidates have asked us how they can best deal with these types of thoughts. Many worry that 'negative' thinking will harm their health. Our suggestion is to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. This approach encourages a healthy balance. You can focus your mind on the desired outcome, but not completely ignore the alternatives.
For some, to face and prepare for the worst possible outcome results in a sense of relief. At the very least, this can free you from worry that potentially important chores remain undone. This approach is not for everybody. Many will find that these worrisome thoughts do not cross their mind at all. But for others, preparation for any possibility is one way to reduce ruminative worry.
Ken: Ken hoped for a good recovery after heart transplant. But he was also aware of the risk involved with the surgery. He didn't want to upset his wife Maureen. But he could not stop thinking that he should look after his affairs. Should I talk to Maureen about our finances, or about my will? Will she think me morbid? Or will it look as though I am pessimistic? She would want me to think positively.
Eventually, Ken decided that he must confront the concerns that played on his mind. It was painful for his wife and family to hear him talk of a will and his wishes for a funeral. But he reassured them that he did not want or expect to die. It's just that he had always been a person who planned ahead. He could not feel at ease with the nagging concern that he was unprepared. After talking with Maureen and others, Ken found that he was less distracted. He was better able to focus his mind and devote all of his mental energy to the upcoming transplant. And Ken found that he could enjoy time with his family, without worries arising constantly in his mind.
The wait for transplant is a time to remind yourself of the resources available to help you. Remind yourself of the confidence you hold in your doctors and other caregivers. These include the internists, the transplant surgeons, the nursing staff and the technical staff who handle the blood tests and other equipment. They have years of training and experience that they will devote to your health care. Remind yourself of the family and friends who are ready to see you through the transplant and recovery. And remind yourself of any spiritual or philosophical beliefs that have in the past, provided you strength and comfort. These are the resources to draw upon during this time of stress and little control.